I gave myself one month of very limited … yeah you’re right, i guess i’m hanging on to the fact that she came onto me at the beginning of our relationship and pushed me to like her, and i unexpectedly fell in love with her. Archived. That’s it. This much more real than a typical high school relationship. It’s a fallacy to think that once the relationship is over, all feelings for that other person cease to exist. Yeah blame the plandemic for your problems, Press J to jump to the feed. Dig deep why it's been 5 years and getting over your ex is still a dilemma. Breaking up with her was the biggest mistake I ever made, going to University was a fucking terrible idea. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. I've dated several guy after my ex but have never ever felt close to even love with the other guys except for this guy I'm currently in a relationship with. Yeh yeh I absolutely will. I still love him. We started dating September 2019 fairly quickly after we both got out of our last relationship. Time and distance are the two most important ingredients in recovery, but neither does any good at all if you keep rehashing issues that are over and done with. One way or the other I will grow a set and talk to her. The ex, at this point, is no longer playing themselves in the dream — instead, they kind of embody what first love feels like: the excitement, the passion, the desire, being desired, … Facebook? The relationship was absolutely amazing, we drove each other crazy at times but for the most part it was great. I have to admit though I always sucked at talking to women. Its a horrible boring tiny place and there aren't any opportunities here, but I know she loves home and would probably never move away from here family, so this makes me wonder if there is actually any possibility that we could ever get back together. A … I remember smelling something that smelt just like her one day and I nearly broke down then and there, Jesus. Thank you for this. 185. crispNight40 May 12th, 2017 4:50am. I was not completely loyal to him on 2 occasions, which ended it. I have worked with people still love their exes after years of being apart. I know I should move on but quite frankly I don't want to, I do not want the it to be over. Now that I'm back (and she lives just five minutes away) its driving me crazy that I can't just drive round and see her. Continue this thread level 2. If things have changed and we are very different people I'll at least have closure. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Together for 11, Married 8 years, had a 2-4 a week for 6 years. My ex and I had a love that happens once in a lifetime. TL;DR: Still in love with ex after three years. Also don't worry I'm not the oversensitive, easily offended type. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. My gf is still in love with her ex. I'm definitely doing it, only reason I havnt yet is because I'm broke and getting paid in a couple of days so figured I'll just wait so I can ask her to go for a drink or some shit. Yeh fuck it. Now is your time to move forward, work on yourself and meet new people. I've thought about and missed you a lot.". I married him 11 years after we broke up … and after a helluva lot … Wow,first of all hats off!! I actually feel like I am the one with the decreased sex drive. Did you find this post helpful? Its been awhile since I commenced my advice segment, so here is another! When you still love your ex, your preoccupation will be in getting him back. If you dreamed you were falling for your first love all over again… “This can be someone who was in your life 30, 40, or 50 years ago, but you still find yourself dreaming about this person. She was very polite, but after thinking a lot about it said she felt she was no longer interested in trying again and thinks we should both move forward. Show her I'm still about and I still think about her. Well this is exactly it. First of all, know that you’re not alone in this situation. That may sound silly but let me explain. You may feel wrong and guilty when you miss or even think about a toxic ex, but here is why it's OK to still be slightly affected by a breakup even years after … If you've spent intimate and romantic time together, your ex probably still holds a place for you in their heart. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. We started dating late when we were 18, we were good friends from high-school and there was always chemistry. Press J to jump to the feed. Years 3 and 4 I was just happy to still feel for her, knowing that my love for her was indeed true because I still wasn't over her. Please can someone help me out here? I'm sorry but I don't believe that there is anything you can say or do at this point to change her mind. Report Save. Once I severed the chord, I acted like the loss was a non-event. Given that you’re here reading this article, you are probably still attached to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in one way or another and still hope that your ex will eventually decide to come back to you. A lot of people (myself included) think this means that they are still in love with them. Most people get married coming out of college. 31 years old, father to an 18mth old baby girl who sleeps in bed with us. 1. It is my personal belief that love never truly goes away, and that you will always love your ex, because you shared your lives together for however long you were together. As such I decided it was best that we broke up, my thought process was that at this rate we were going to hate each other and breaking up with her was the only way to leave our relationship in a state that maybe someday in the future there would be a possibility of us getting back together. Any normal person would have. I'll try to keep this short. 5. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up 5 months ago because of long distance/minor relationship problems that came from the pandemic/not being able to progress. I would hold a torch for her all my life, and that would be fine with me. I don't know what to do. What the fuck do I do? Any more advice you have would be welcomed greatly. Each time it ended up with her dumping me for another guy or just for sake of being alone. (1) You suffer from Stockholm Syndrome: Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological condition when the victim is made to develop a crazy empathy for the abuser. We get along well, hangout with the same mutual friend group from college and have a lot in common. I honestly think it might be worth me just biting the bullet, trying to get back with her after this year and if its possible just coming home because as shit as this place may be, at least she is here. We have not had any contact since we broke up, I thought cutting off contact was for the best, to be honest I just think I couldn't handle speaking to her and being part of her life without knowing she was my girlfriend. The fact of matter is, you may still miss your ex years after your breakup, and that's OK. I still love him and want him back. She ended up getting me a job in Chicago which is right in between our hometowns, and now that I officially moved into the city and live fairly close to her, I asked her to get drinks last week to try and rekindle things. It's totally possible to be in love with your current boo and still love your ex. 2. Don't confuse me loving him for me being in love with him. My ex is also in love with this other girl. Angel on April 01, 2018: hy, i have a huge problem. The first six months were horrendous, and I still have my rare moments of sadness (I have a feeling there's a lot of other effects that I also subconsciously … She was always pretty paranoid because of her previous boyfriend who cheated like crazy (I knew the guy, total scumbag, really fucked with her head). Do I talk to her? I know that my ONLY shot involves waiting just one more year. I have absolutely no desire to do so, I just want her. I have no fucking ides how to go about it. A lot can happen during the entire time you're in college. After my wife died, I didn't think I would ever love anyone else. Recently since I'm home every single day I wake up and think about her and feel like shit since I'm alone and I have only myself to blame. e-mail; 57. shares. Dont worry, you probably won't. 5 Reasons You Still Miss Your Abusive Ex! Just split with my girlfriend of 5 years. Get out of your head and do something about it. Year 8 9 and 10 is when I became comfortable with it. Now I have sex once or twice a month. I still love this girl more than anything. But this isn’t necessarily so. I'm reasonably outgoing and supposedly not horribly unattractive, yet the whole time I've been at University I haven't so much as kissed any other girl. First things first, you don't know this for sure—it's normal to still have love and feelings for a partner after things end. I'm posting this now because I'm at home for the summer before my final year at University and its the longest I've been back since I started as I've worked summers previously or been busy doing things. Either way, you've given the relationship everything you can and she is not reciprocating. This one was just different. I would love to get together and hear about what's been going on in your life these past few years and how you're doing. I'm still in love with my ex even though I'm engaged to another man. So I’m 20F and my gf is a 22F. Should've used a throwaway. Even … I'm 22 and got my heart broken very badly about a year ago. It’s been 3+ years but I still want to be with him again. Not sure whether to try and move on or try and get her back (if that's even a possibility). Unfortunately, his teenage daughter crippled the relationship after a year and a half. People often dream about their exes for years after they break up. It has been two and a half years since and I still love her, I've thought about here constantly since then. That's why I have no plan on immediately trying to get back with her. Whether are you two broke up six months ago or five years ago, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for still having feelings for your ex. Still in love with Ex 3+ years later [new] tl;dr I dated Alex for a year, starting junior yr of high school. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. She may see that new you and like it, she may not. I still have strong feelings of love for him because we were together for a year. And like I said, it absolutely can happen, I mean, I married an ex-boyfriend! Pakistan Navy sinks old British ship in torpedoes exercice; NHS … For years after the end of a five-year romance, one young woman described how she continued to revisit loving memories of her ex, the special … 6 years ago. Of course she isn't 100% at fault, my ex should have disciplined her when she acted impolitely, rude etc. I'm posting this now because I'm at home for the summer before my final year at University and its the longest I've been back since I started as I've worked summers previously or been busy doing things. You love your abusive partner so much so that you justify the abuses and would not want to leave them. Fuck I hope no one knows my username, I'll sound like such a little bitch. I just mean all you have to do is quiet your head and the past. It can be extremely frustrating, especially if you are still suffering from a break up. If the relationship is truly over and neither of you is doing anything to make the other hold out hope for reconciliation, it is likely that these feelings will fade with time. I haven't been anywhere close to as happy as I was back then since. Still in love with Ex 3+ years later [new] Close. One thing I do know is she has not had a boyfriend since. She broke my heart like six or seven times that way.. After it happened for the last time in December, I decided that I didn't want to live in this misery for the rest of my life. to me and I could have been less … You've got me in tears, sir. Hopefully she feels the same way about you, but most people move on and develop other relationships. Then I moved away to University, to another country. 93. share. Would you actually feel comfortable being with someone that you had to 'convince' to be with you? The worst part of all is I'm not sure I ever want to come back and live in this country after University. She just doesn’t believe that things will be different, and I know I can give her so much more than I did in those challenging previous years. And I really don't know how to start talking to someone I was so incredibly close to after years of zero contact. This isn't something I'm just thinking now since I'm home, I've thought this the entire time I've been gone. Say I'm sorry for having no contact with her over the last couple of years, then try to just casually chat over time and see how things go from there. The problem is the fact that I think I still love my ex. In general, though, if it’s been years since the end of a six-month relationship and you still feel attached to your ex, you might want to seek professional help. Do I text her? Most watched News videos. I've stopped over thinking it. I'm currently self employed and I am hating the stay/work at home gig (I Have no clue how to parent an 18 mth old), I'm pretty sure … Fuck it. Yeh thanks I've considered this. Admitting I’m still in love with my ex is liberatin g. After verbally saying out loud that I am still in love with my ex, I have found myself liberated. Worst case scenario, you know for sure it won't happen and can work on moving on. It has been two and a half years since and I still love her, I've thought about here constantly since then. 5. At least get in touch with her and tell her that you miss her and your friendship. … Posted Aug 29, 2015 It's pretty simple - get in touch, get to know her again and discover the possibilities. This makes it even harder for me to work up the balls to say something to her. I was still in college, and she was working full time (she’s 1 yr older), and since I thought we’d end up together after college, I had the mindset that I wanted to spend my last year with my best friends and then she would get all of me after college when we were in the same place. Lastly, try to find out if the status is doing you good or not. But! I'm going to. Can anyone give me any general advice on my situation? You thinking you'll just let another year go by and then you'll get back with her when you're done with Uni is crazy to me. You want to have those feelings for someone again. Leaning on friends is an instrumental part of the healing process for most people after a painful breakup. Posted by 1 year ago. How can I either convince her to give me a shot, or move on from this girl that I see myself with, someone I have never even fought with, someone who has never tried to make me jealous...I’ve met a lot of people in life and she is, by a mile, the most beautiful, genuine and overall quality person that I have ever known. I would even go as far as telling her how much she's always meant to me and that I wanted her back. I just want her back, there are no words to describe just how much I do. I was with my ex for three years, and we broke up a year and a half ago. I get messages every day from women who are desperate to get their ex back. Cookies help us deliver our Services. It's okay to feel this way, and in fact, you should feel proud. You've tried to rekindle things after some time apart and she's made herself clear that she's not interested. Sorry I just feel like I'm going crazy. My ex and i have been dating for about 4 years.He was a womaniser and very abusive.He used to insult and control me. Do I try and get over her? Hearing only what you want to hear. You're over-thinking it. I don't want to, I don't know if there is anyone out there I'll ever feel that way about other than her. If you have any ideas I'd be happy to hear them. You love the relationship, the feelings shared between the two of you. Tracey Cox reveals signs your ex is still in love with you. Every relationship is different. Dude, if you wanna get back with her you should at least have some form of contact. Sometimes if you see your ex in a dream, it means that you just want to have what you had with them. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and respond. ♥ ♥ Don't forget to watch in HD Hi Babies! What do I say? We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. For some people it’s normal to have lingering feelings for an ex after two or more years. I was very lucky though, in that before she passed away she encouraged me to move on when I was ready, and told me I was a great husband and somewhere out there was a woman who needed one and that I had a lot of years left and she didn't want me to spend them alone. I've been with my Ex in "on and off" relationship for about 2 years. This is definitely possible but listen closely: Now isn’t the right time. I really do hope it works out for you- your sincerity is awesome, but be realistic a little bit. Do you think this is the way to go about it? I haven't spoke to him for nearly 2 years. Email, text, or call her up and say, "Hi! These things are hard but think of how much you stand to gain. I just have no reason to cut her out of my life, so this makes it especially hard. In this age where people change mobile phones every year and boyfriends every month…you are an exception!! I'm trying to be realistic. It's been so long since we've connected. The thing is even if she wanted to I know getting back with her now would be a terrible idea since I know how incredibly poorly she dealt with it before (I'm not faulting her here, she just couldn't do it and I don't blame her). He loves me very much and he's MORE than anything I can ever ask for. You don't want to regret not trying. Perhaps you don’t actually love your ex as you love your husband, but you love the block of time that you spent with him. I guess it’s just weird that the tables completely turned and now i’m the one trying to convince her, and she wants better. Babysteps, man. Her and her ex weren’t official however, she brings that up a lot. Good luck OP. I was still in college, and she was working full time (she’s 1 yr older), and since I thought we’d end up together after college, I had the mindset that I wanted to spend my last year with my best friends and … I was completely faithful but being away all the time drove her crazy, she couldn't handle it. We were together for five years. Love Your Ex but They Don't Love You Back? Is it normal to still love your ex after 2 years? Also going through uni life without any relations with any girls has kind of fucked my self-esteem even though like I said, I've had no interest and made no effort. Afterwards, I told her I wanted a real shot at a relationship since I actually had the time to invest in it and we were finally in the same stage of life. I just don't even know where to begin. At this point it seems that you've done all you can. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up 5 months ago because of long distance/minor relationship problems that came from the pandemic/not being able to progress. I'll admit I'm being a massive pussy about this whole thing and probably just need to grow some balls. Okay so as I type this I'm starting to think maybe I need to talk to her, at least just talk to her. I've had that feeling with other girls and its always gone away. Years 5 and 6 is when I started accepting that this would never leave me. Seems pointless as I have to go back to University at the end of the summer and that didn't go well before. Or maybe I'm wrong and things have changed and she handled it poorly because she knew she was looking at 4 years of me being away, not what I guess will only be about 8 months now. Relationships 5 Ways to Move on From an Ex You Still Love Why we have to let go of the fantasy. I still remember every little detail about her. I fully expect her to have moved on, honestly I do. I've found myself many times just sitting looking through her Facebook photos, I've dreamt about getting back with her countless times and then wake up to reality and just hate my life. Two years later and I realize that I still love my ex. No matter how much abuse you are, you would not leave because you are … After you break up with an ex, your brain still needs to fulfill the craving that it felt in the beginning of your relationship when you were falling in love. I have to. Edit for the sake of not wanting to seem insensitive: My apologies if that seemed abrupt or rude, I didn't mean to negate your feelings. Even if you could it's not really something you want to do. Healing from heartbreak takes a lot of time, and holding space for people … I was thinking say hi, long time no speak etc.